The Baltimorons

Liz Larsen and Michael Strassner             

Jay Duplas' The Baltimorons is a refreshingly relaxed and lowkey romantic comedy set in Baltimore during the Yuletide season. The script was co-written by Duplas and lead actor Michael Strassner who plays a struggling comedian named Cliff. The character of Cliff has the exact same back story as Strassner himself: a native Baltimorean expelled from his improv group for bad behavior who, despondent, attempts suicide. That attempt, handled in an off the cuff comic fashion, opens the film. We then see Cliff trumpeting six months of sobriety to his fiancé Brittany (a game Olivia Luccardi) as they drive to her parents' house for Christmas Eve dinner. However, Cliff slips on the icy steps and dislodges a tooth, necessitating a trip to an on-call dentist named Didi (Liz Larsen) We soon learn that Didi, who is of a certain age, is recently divorced and is on-call because her ex, who left him for a young cookie, is hosting the holiday dinner. Didi has been invited, but is not inclined to go. After Cliff gets his car towed, fate intervenes and the oddly matched couple spend a night on the town in Charm City. Sparks, of course, fly. 

I am also a native of Baltimore and perhaps inclined to give this nice movie the benefit of the doubt. Certainly Baltimore has never looked as charming onscreen. The Wire is the polar opposite of The Baltimorons in its representation of the city. However, the film is as accurate in its way in its depiction of the city as the series was. It is easy enough to have a character in a Ravens' shirt, but mentions of local faves such as Natty Boh (National Bohemian beer) and Berger's Cookies (sinful) made me know I was safely in the hands of a true Baltimoron. The romantic ambiance of this film climaxes in a jaunt through the Hampden neighborhood (pictured above), an enclave renowned throughout the city for its elaborate Christmas decorations. Baltimoreans travel to Hampden during the holiday season to experience the vibe and the film accurately captures the festive block party feel there. For preserving this on film, I will always treasure The Baltimorons. 

The film does suffer from the formulaic predictability of the genre. We know when Cliff reenters the ring of improv comedy that he will emerge triumphant. We foresee him making his grand romantic gesture, holding a gift box that contains something only his beloved will truly understand. This is part in parcel with the wish fulfillment of such tales, otherwise the Hallmark Channel would not exist. I preferred the oddball vibe that develops between Cliff and Didi. Ms. Larsen and Mr. Strassner deliver two of the best performances of 2025. Their rapport reminded me of the character driven auteur films of the 1970s: Harold and Maude, California Split, Minnie and Moskowitz, etc. At its best, The Baltimorons belongs with those films. 

The Ugly Stepsister

Ane Dahl Torp and Lea Myren              

Emilie Blichfeldt's The Ugly Stepsister is a twist on the tale of Cinderella that combines feminism, body horror, and black humor. This Norwegian film, Blichfeldt's feature debut, is set in the early Victorian era and shifts the central focus of the tale to the plight of Cinderella's stepsister, here named Elvira (Lea Myren). After watching her new stepdad choke to death on his wedding cake, Elvira becomes the focus of her very evil mother's plan to find a new meal ticket. Since Elvira is "ugly", her mother ( a droll Ane Dahl Torp) enlists a series of quacks to improve her looks. Elvira gets her teeth fixed, her nose adjusted, her eyelashes augmented, and, my personal favorite, ingests a tapeworm in order to lose weight. Sex, in the film is purely a form of commerce in which erotic favors are exchanged for financial security. The ultimate prize is, of course, the hand in matrimony of the prince, but we know how this fairy tale ends.

Because it hews closely to the original fable, The Ugly Stepsister suffers a little from predictability. However, only a churl could resist the film's gorgeous production design and costumes. There are no weak performances and a large number of quite amusing ones. Blichfeldt cribs a little too much from Poor Things and there are also nods to the films of Busby Berkeley and Walerian Borowczyk. The Ugly Stepsister is not a film for tikes, but Blichfeldt's fidelity to the original tale's undercurrent of savagery makes this a much more provocative adaption than the anodyne animated Disney version.

The Great Flood

Kim Da-mi

Kim Byung-woo's The Great Flood is a serviceable Korean Sci-Fi disaster film that has turned out to be the most viewed film on Netflix during the Christmas season. A mother (Kim Da-mi) and her six year old son are trapped in a Seoul apartment building as an apocalyptic flood is unleashed. An agent of the UN (Park Hae-soo) tries to facilitate their exit, the mom is part of a secret government program designed to create artificial humanoid life forms, but there is doubt that he can be trusted. About halfway through the picture, The Great Flood morphs from a disaster film into a sci-fi one in which the characters are stuck in a loop of eternal recurrence, like Groundhog Day or Edge of Tomorrow. The rationale for this is Sci-Fi gobbledegook, but this well acted film evokes moments of human loss and bravery that lift it slightly above ordinary fare.